Proud Momma

I love my kid!! He is perfect and amazing and every little thing he does makes me so proud!! He is WAY ahead of other kids, cuz he is so smart! Before you get all mad and booty hurt, read my blog.

I get that I am a first time mom, and many of the completely normal developments that I experience with Colton are very similar, if not the same, as every other mother and child in this world. Watching him learning to sit up, finding his feet, talking to his hands, and holding his own bottle are very standard achievements for children. Every mother is proud of their child when they accomplish the tiniest of new discoveries.

I went into labor with Colton at 35 weeks, (note to self: sex in the rain at 35 wks preggo is NOT a good idea). My doc told me it was my choice to proceed or stop labor. After pondering my entire pregnancy, my terrible back pain, and the pure joy of holding my little fella in my arms (all in about 30 seconds), I decided I wanted to let the labor proceed. I was told there was a "slight" risk of complications with premature babies like their lungs might not be strong enough to breathe on there own right away...I asked the doc if, in his experience in the field, he thought my baby would be better off 'baking' a little longer. I was told no because my child was already about 6 lbs. He was pretty big for being 35 weeks. So I agreed to have the baby that day. Being in labor for 24 straight hours might not sound too bad for some of you readers, but for me, it was HELL!!!!!! Everyone has a certain amount of pain they can take until they erratically scream at the nurse to "give me the f*ing epidural!!!!!" For me it was dilating to a 6. DON'T JUDGE ME!!! (see my sister had her baby all natural and I wanted to do the same to prove how un wimpy I am....but yeah, no! I am a wimp. I gladly admit it.) I was fine with the contractions until the doc broke my water, which is very nasty btw. Those cramping mostly pressure contractions turned into "OMG I feel my hips separating!!" Extremely unpleasant, trust me.  After trying to focus on my mom and my boyfriend and my sister and my friend (there was alot of people in the room), I realized I couldn't do this and everyone was annoying me and I was burning up, then Freezing my ass off. Ugh, thank the Lord for the drugs they injected into my spine. I was actually able to lay and rest for a couple hours. I felt good. A little too relaxed for what was happening to me at the moment. After my water broke it was about 4 hours until Colton was born. I had like 2 hours of pushing. I am not a good pusher. I went to high school with my nurse so she offered to let me watch my sons delivery, and I agreed thinking it would be a once in a lifetime chance. So there I am, pushing like crazy and starring at this huge mirror behind the doc (beside the mirror are my sis and my friend, so watching their reactions were funny). On my right leg was my boyfriend and my left leg was my mom's perch. All nasty aside, I told my boyfriend to look at the miracle that was happening and he continuously refused so I grabbed his arm and yelled at him to look! He said it was the biggest mistake of his life, LOL. I enjoyed the opportunity of seeing my baby boy enter this world.

As I watch the doc pull my baby out and hand the scissors to my boyfriend to cut his cord, I begin crying. Then I hear the sweetest sound I've ever heard. Two, very short, little squeaky cries. Then nothing. They plopped him on my chest and I kissed his tiny, scrunched up face. The nurses rushed him to the corner to clean him up and then one nurse gets on the phone and calls for more nurses to come in and help "stimulate" my child's heart. I froze. Everything went silent, and my tears of joy turned very quickly to tears worry. I was laying there, thinking to myself  "it was too soon, this is my fault" I called his name a couple times and tried to let him hear my voice thinking maybe that would help. He was blue. Not breathing. The nurses had to beat on his little chest and rub so roughly just to keep him alive. They immediately took him into the nursery and hooked him up to several machines and inserted a breathing tube into his lungs. I didn't get the "normal" delivery experience most mother's get. I didn't know for 3 hours if my son had survived. I told my boyfriend to go with the baby and NOT lose sight of him. Everyone left my room to see what they could find out and I lay there, completely numb from the waist down. At that moment, 3 hours felt like forever. I was finally wheeled over to recovery and met back up with my boyfriend. The nurse I knew came into my room looking so sad. She said they will let me see him now but I couldn't move my legs still. I gave the camera to my boyfriend and told him to take pictures. When I finally got to go see him the next day he had bruises all over his body. I cried when I got to touch his tiny little hand.

My son was in that hospital for 2 weeks. We were transferred to the NICU in Odessa, TX and stayed there for another two weeks. After one month, Colton was finally released to go home. His lungs were underdeveloped at birth and one was partially collapsed. He technically died 3 times before making it to the nursery the night he was born.

Despite being 5 weeks early, he weighed in at 5lbs 15 oz and was 19 in long. Not too small for a preemie. He was one of the largest babies in the NICU. We visited him everyday and he had lots of clothes and blankets and stuff surrounding his bassinet. I was told, at his first check up, that he would be about a month or two behind other babies his age. This is not the case. He has developed very much the same as other babies around him

So, with all the crap that Colton has gone through in the first month of his precious life, I believe I have EVERY right to oooh and awe over every little detail of his development. He is my miracle baby (I was told by 3 drs I would never be able to have kids due to having Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease). I am one proud momma! My son is a true blessing to my life and I honestly don't know if I could live without him. He stole my heart the day he was born, and I love him so much more than I could ever express in a blog. I know I have every right snap pictures 24/7 and dote all over him all the time. I thank God for those nurses in the hospital. If they didn't know what they were doing my son might not be here today.

Thank you to all the pediatric nurses out there. You truly do make a big difference in this world. It takes a special person to care for sick, helpless babies. Keep up the good work!

Colton FINALLY holds his own bottle!

Almost eight and a half months later and my darling son finally starts holding his own bottle! I couldn't be more thrilled! He is well over 20 lbs now and holding him and the bottle at feeding time is getting to be some what of a hassle.

I need to state that Colton gets many of his character traits from me. I will own up to the stubbornness and him being so talkative. His laziness comes from his daddy. I have, on several occasions, walked in and found Chris sprawled out on the bed, or couch, watching TV with his arms up over his head and his legs spread open in a complete state of relaxation. Colton has been portraying this same action, or lack thereof, for sometime now. As cute as it is to see your baby boy in such a comfy, cozy posture, feeding time should be more of a focused occasion.

 Now don't get me wrong, I love the bonding time I get while cuddling my precious boy up against me and talking to him oh so sweetly. But there's comes a point in a mother's life when the numbness in her arm overtakes the situation. I get to alternating him from one arm to the other, propping him on my legs, and sometimes just (conservative moms close your eyes) bottle propping altogether. This has been the case for the last month.

Last night I was expecting to run into the same routine as every night. As soon as the bottle touched his lips he pasted those tiny little hands on either side of his bottle and chugged until he was sucking air. Granted, I was still assisting in the process but the determination in this child's eyes was apparent. He has continued to grasp his bottle this morning and throughout the day thus far. I feel like a major milestone has been overcome!