I bend over backwards for my son. I yell, spank, cuddle, soothe, kiss, hug, hold, and care for him everyday of the week. He has my 100% attention and devotion and I wouldn't have it any other way. But sometimes late at night, I miss cuddling with someone who is holding me (instead of me holding them), like, I am the best thing in the world to my kid. Seriously he is with me all the freaking time and when I come back into the room from being gone like 10 minutes he is laughing and smiling up at me trying to crawl up my legs lol. It's adorable! But sometimes I just miss cuddling with a guy, watching a movie, or holding hands and kissing...nothing sexual, just relationship stuff. I really do miss that.
So my ex sis-in-law (weird I know) texted me telling me how she found the "perfect" guy for me. My first thought is "perfect?" Highly doubtful. But she was persistent, so I decided to give Mr. "Perfect" a chance. After texting like crazy all week, a date was set. I was pretty excited because one, this guy did seem pretty awesome, and 2, I had never seriously been on a "real" date before. I mean I usually fall for losers so we jump into sex or a relationship THEN go on dates...b-ass-ackwards I know. So I was nervous and excited both mixed into a big ball of Brandy! I went through the "this shirt makes me look fat" and "those shoes don't go with that top" for HOURS!!!! LOL Not even kidding here, I'm not that girl...not even close! I am usually no makeup, sweats and a tshirt, hair in a pony...like everyday.
So here I am, face full of makeup (feeling like a porn star), jeans (that are uncomfy), a top I don't own (that I would never buy), hair straightened (and getting stuck in my lipgloss) and then I realize.......I don't have a purse! Seriously here people, I have a kid...Carrying him, his bag AND a purse is a little too much to handle, so I just put my stuff in his bag. (By "my stuff" I mean: wallet, gum, couple tampons, cell phone and car keys). So my good friend lends me her purse....which turns out to be absolutely adorable and the size of a carry on luggage. My items don't even cover the bottom. For real. Feeling a little out of my element (as I'm guessing most first daters are) I'm eagerly waiting for my date to arrive.
He shows up at exactly 8 (loving the car and the punctuality). I was already outside, so as I walked to the driveway, he got out of his car walked right up to me and gave me a hug. I was surprised lol. My first thought was "Wow, he is freaking tall!!" I'm used to dating short guys who are just barely taller than me or the same height as me....and I'm 5'4 (almost)!!!! So hugging the waist of this 6'1 gorgeous guy I am just WAYYYYY beyond words. We go eat at ShoGun where we had a good time chatting and watching our yummy meal be prepared (awesome show). Then head over to the movies to go watch the lamest first date movie EVER!!! I liked the show ok, but it was so not first date worthy. Half naked chicks being held captive in a cat house and kicking ass in a dream realm is hot, but not appropriate for a first date. I arrived home at midnight. I had an awkwardly fun night, (awkward in the sense that it was very new to me, the overall dating experience), and there we were standing in front of my driveway (again) and I'm waiting to see if he is going to hug me, or kiss me....or jump in his car and peel out dramatically. I got 2 right. We hugged, he said he enjoyed himself and wanted to do it again sometime, then literally peeled out and flew down the street. I had a nice night but was unsure if he had meant what he said about wanting to go out again.
The next morning he texted me. To my shock, I responded. He replied once more than stopped texting all weekend. A few days later we texted for about 2 hrs of hardcore flirting, then nothing more. It's been like a week or so and I can't make up my mind about guys anymore. If he wasn't interested in me then why text me the morning after our date? To that logic, Why finally text days later to flirt then not talk to me again. Guys are very random. I'm not looking for a booty call people. I have a child. I'm looking for companionship in the long haul. Thought I made that clear before the date.....guess not.
Dating isn't easy no matter who you are. I'm gunna go out on a limb here and say it is especially hard for single moms. I don't think I'm exaggerrating. Until I find my "Mr. Perfect", I'll just continue to devote myself to my stinky little boy whom I love more than any other being on this huge planet!!!
